A few months ago I wrote about a particularly arsey email which I’d received from an agency flogging their wares. I didn’t think it was possible for a sales email to be any worse. Until this baby dropped into my inbox…

Dear Alan

I recently wrote to you personally for reasons I will explain below.  I had hoped to have called you by now to chat through the exciting initiatives we are working on for other firms and what we might be able to do for you.  I apologise as I have not yet had a chance to make that call – the last few days have been manic.  I did not want you to feel neglected so thought I would email you to see when a good time to chat might be?  Perhaps you would be kind enough to reply with a time and date and I can call you then if this is something you would appreciate. 

Why did I choose to write to you anyway?

Over the past few weeks I have personally taken the time out to go through thousands of records of financial services firms who have been to our events, webinars, read our reports or called us in the past.  I narrowed that list down to just a handful of selected firms who I wanted to write to, provide a voucher to and hopefully do business with. 

I chose to write to you because:

• I felt that your practice seems to have similar values to our own organisations – important for long term relationships.
• You are a firm that I believe we could help to growth both using online marketing and offline marketing.
• You are a firm that we would like to work or act for.

If you want to know what makes us so sure we can help feel free to read over 250 testimonials.

Once again I apologise for not calling and I look forward to hearing back from you in due course

Warm regards

XXXX

Wow! Where do I begin? Why don’t I just list the mistakes?

• He’s too busy to call me
• He’s working for other firms in my sector
• Both points above combined lead me to deduce that I am not a priority as he is too busy working for rivals
• Despite being too busy, he’s personally found the time to go through thousands of records and narrowed down a list to a select few – who he’s too busy not to call
• He doesn’t want me to feel neglected – usage of a negative term suggests that I am being neglected and makes me feel like I’ve been neglected – especially if he’s too busy to call!
• He ‘feels’ that we have similar values. Going to have to give me more than feelings. Why not show me tangible evidence of this?

Ok, I think that’s enough. I could go on. Let’s keep the advice simple:

• Make the customer feel special – like they’re the only customer in the world
• Don’t use negative terms
• Don’t talk about rival firms
• Don’t say you are too busy for me
• Do your homework and prove why you would be a good fit. Don’t rely on feelings or beliefs
• Just pick up the phone. I’d rather hear your voice and how sincere you are
• But if you are going to email, at least personalise the text. Perhaps mention my firm? Even automated emails allow this, you know?

Ultimately, it’s your call how you target and approach customers but if you’re not getting the cut through that you expect, perhaps have a look at what message you’re conveying.